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But Lucas wasn t here to see it.
Just that quickly came the pain. Blinding, crushing pain. Behind her eyes, in her chest, in her middle.
Kyle pulled her to her feet, his anger put aside by his concern. He walked her up to the stage steps as he
would lead a child on its way to bed while she clung to his arm and shook her head wildly. This was wrong.
It shouldn t be him there, holding her hand. It should have been Lucas.
But she d destroyed that. She d ripped out her own heart because she d been too afraid of his
kindness. Too afraid of her love for him. But it was there anyway, with or without him. And it ached for
him.
Kyle extended his arm, guiding her up the three steps to where a stunned-looking Yvonne held the
crystal award with both hands. Not that the woman was looking at her. No, she was staring at Kyle, her
mouth pinched and twisted. Like a woman rejected.
Belinda nearly ran back down the stairs.
Yvonne stepped forward and shoved the heavy thing into Belinda s hands with a fake hug. Enjoy it
while you can, the woman sneered in her ear. Your fountain will never get built. It was a mistake to let
someone like you in this contest but it will be corrected. When I m done with you, you ll wish you were
never born.
Belinda nodded automatically. She was a mistake. She d heard it all her life. It stood to reason
someone like Yvonne would notice as well. Like a familiar old coat, the weight of the acknowledgment
clasped her shoulders and weighed them into a slump. She stepped past the woman to the podium where
she was being directed. Unfortunately, the lights were brighter there. It was difficult to see past them to the
crowd beyond, even when the clapping stopped and they waited silently but for that person coughing
roughly in the back of the room for her to say something.
All she could do was frown down at the crystal. It had her name on it, same as the medal she d pulled
from Lucas s pocket. You earned something, Lucas had said, wanting to make sure she made the
distinction. You and your design. You should be proudest of that.
Tears stung her eyes and slid down her cheeks as she remembered the look on his face, his gentle
smile, the kindness of his touch as he d given her a gift no one else ever had. I m proud of you.
A sob broke through her thoughts, echoing through the silent hall. There was more rough coughing in
the now far-too-extended quiet, but she couldn t quite speak.
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This really was hers. Lucas had said her designs were worth being proud of. That she was worth being
proud of. She hadn t believed him. He might be gone, but somewhere under all her heartache, the faith he d
planted tried to shine& and finally caught flame.
I never thought anyone would see anything worthwhile in me. She choked, pushing the words past
the bottleneck that tried to form. In my work. Tears slipped over her cheeks onto the fine, clear stone in
her grip. She wanted Lucas there. Wanted him to see she wasn t a complete waste of his time. But those
were selfish wants. Lucas deserved to be free of her and all the pain she brought into his life. Still&
Someone did once. And I m so grateful to him. For always seeing something worthwhile. He ll
never know how many times he saved me, no matter what I said afterward. She heard the cough again,
wracking and forceful enough to be heard over the loudspeakers. Squinting to see past the light, she finally
made out the familiar shape of a tall man near the exit. But it couldn t be. Why would he be there? How
would he even know to come?
Lucas?
The figure turned and left the room.
Lucas!
She rushed past Yvonne to the steps where Kyle waited, calling her name, trying to grab her arm. She
shoved the award into his hands and kept going.
It was Lucas. She knew every line of his body, every shade of his motion. He was there. Sick, too, by
the sound of that cough. If she were the right woman, if she were the kind who could stick to doing what
was right instead of allowing her emotions to lead her, she would have stayed and let him get away. But her
heart had her sprinting after him, desperate to apologize, to have one more chance to be better than what
she was. She ran past the tables and out the doors to the main hallway. She didn t stop until she found
herself outside the hotel, looking around wildly. But there was no one to find. Nowhere to go.
Nowhere but home.
Without Lucas, she had no idea where home was supposed to be.
What s that? Lucas asked when he found Kyle and Jessica at his front door holding what looked
like some kind of space-age lump of glass.
It s an award, brain child. Kyle shoved it into his stomach, starting off another round of coughing
Lucas needed like he needed mold on his ass. Jessica followed his brother into the apartment with a shrug,
closing the front door and making herself right at home by heading off to the kitchen.
Isn t she here? Kyle asked, looking down the hallway toward the dark bedroom.
Isn t who? Lucas wheezed. Like he didn t know. To hell with Jessica in his kitchen. She and Kyle
had been there off and on for a week. No doubt she d make him a pot of tea and try to push some soup on
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him. For such a brisk woman, she had a strange strain of caretaker in her. He made his way over to his
couch and collapsed on it, pretending he wasn t in a cold, dripping sweat.
You suck at undercover work, buddy. Everyone at the banquet could hear the asthmatic in the back
of the room hacking through the speeches. I thought you were just going to talk her parents into going.
Lucas closed his eyes and willed his brother to go away. They didn t feel like listening to me.
Someone had to be there for her.
She saw you, Kyle added like an accusation.
No, she didn t. Not for sure. For all she knew, her mind had been playing with her.
She ran after you.
In this condition, she d have caught me. Which was why he d taken his death rattle into the nearest
other event he could get into.
In that condition, you shouldn t have been there in the first place. Didn t the doctor say something
about bed rest?
So what if he had? Doctors didn t understand needing to know she was all right. His doctor, in
particular, would never understand needing to be there when Belinda finally discovered a trace of her own
worth. That man only understood syringes and melodramatic diagnoses. It s pneumonia, Kyle, not
emphysema. Go away, I m fine.
He didn t care if it put him in his bed for another month, being there for that moment was worth it.
Sure, just like she s fine. Did you get a good look at her?
Of course he did. Once they d called her name and she stepped into the lights, he hadn t been able to
see anything else. That was his Belle, her hair tied back, in her chunky boots and singed overalls, not a
trace of make up on her face or crap in her hair. She was ridiculously out of place and absolutely perfect
just the way she was. Aside from the gauntness on her too-pale face, but surely it was the lights making her
look haunted and lost.
She looked only marginally better than you and you look dead. Kyle sounded disgusted, pacing in
front of Lucas s purported deathbed. Why won t you let me talk to her for you?
Because you were right, Lucas finally sighed. Maybe he was dying. He certainly never expected to
say that out loud. On the other hand, if he survived, he could blame the fever.
Kyle s frown only deepened, but at least his thumping feet stopped moving. What?
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