[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
"Do you have any idea who the Raider could be?" she asked him.
"I'm rather certain I already know."
She gasped at his deadpan tone. "Then why haven't you acted?"
"I want proof."
She smiled wistfully at that. "You are a good man. Most men would already be jumping to their
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
conclusions and acting on them."
His heated gaze bored into hers. "I am not a good man, Callie. Never delude yourself on that point. It's
just, having suffered enough injustice in my life, I am in no hurry to deliver it up to anyone else." She saw
his jaw clench. "But when I have proof of the identity of this Raider, Callie, Iwill see him punished for it."
"I wouldn't expect anything less than that."
He looked stunned by her words. "You're not angry?"
She shook her head. "I hurt in my heart at the thought of one of my clansmen being punished, but I am
not angry. My father raised me with the belief that we are bound by honor to our people. My loyalty is
with my clan and yours is with Henry. We can't let our emotions sway us. I understand that duty must
always come first. This Raider has made his own decisions for what he believes in. I would rather the
rebels lay aside their arms and join us in peace, but if they refuse to, then I will not fault you for doing that
to which you're sworn."
Sin frowned at her. He was aghast and somewhat angry by her speech. His emotions made no sense to
him and yet he felt them strongly. "How can you not hate me?"
This time, there was no mistaking the utter horror in her green eyes. "My God, Sin, are you so used to
hatred that you can't accept the fact that someone, anyone, could care for you?"
He squelched the pain he felt at her words.
"Do you see these hands?" he asked, holding them up to her.
"Aye."
"Know you they have strangled men? They have shoved daggers into their hearts, swords into their
bodies. These are the hands of a killer."
She took his right hand in hers and stared at him with a compassion that took his breath away. "They
have also meted out justice. They have comforted me and Jamie. Protected Simon and Draven."
What would it take to make her see him as he really was? He couldn't understand her steadfast refusal
to see the truth. "I am a monster."
"You are a man, Sin. Plain and simple."
He wanted to believe her, but all he had to do was close his eyes and he could see the men he'd killed.
Feel the guilt and pain of his past. He didn't deserve her kindness.
"What do you want from me?" he asked.
"I want you to be my husband. I want you to stay with me and be father to my children."
"Why? Because of some stupid oath made before a man Henry bribed?"
"Nay. Because of the way I feel when I look into those dark eyes of yours. Because of the way my heart
pounds when I think of you."
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
Sin shook his head at her words. He didn't want the home she spoke of, and the thought of children&
"I will not ever be owned again by anyone, milady. My life is my own and I owe nothing to you, nor to
Henry, nor to anyone else."
Callie released his hand as his words struck her like blows. It was then she understood why he bore no
markings on his shield or surcoat. Nothing owned him and he owned nothing.
"I don't want to own you, Sin. I want to share your life."
"Share what? I have nothing to offer you."
A wave of irritation swept through her. Och, the stubborn oaf.
Suddenly she was tired of trying to make him see her way of thinking. "You know what? So long as you
feel that way, you're right. You go ahead and keep to yourself. Stay up here brooding alone in the dark
like some evil beastie who wants to walk the parapets at night, scaring people unto their wits' end.
Wallow in your loneliness and the fact that you are beyond love. Go ahead and spurn me and my
feelings. But know this: As long as you persist in this self-deprecation, then you are fulfilling the very
doubts you have. No one will ever be able to love you unless you open yourself up to them."
Sin watched as she left the parapet, her words ringing in his ears.
Love.
He scoffed at the very word. It was a useless emotion. The quest for it had led many a man to his death.
Look at his brother Kieran.
And even Ewan. Though Ewan's body might still be here, his heart and soul were gone. Torn asunder by
love.
Sin was a knight of action. A man unto himself. He needed no one. Not now, not ever.
Callie fought against the wave of hopelessness that threatened to overwhelm her as she walked away
from Sin, back to her room. Her brother was going to get himself killed and her husband rejected her as
if she were poisonous.
Why? What was it with men, that they were ever seeking to destroy themselves?
Her father had been the same way. Fighting a hopeless war against an enemy who had never truly
harmed him. He had merely wanted the English gone from Scottish soil and had given his life to that
cause. And for what?
There was really no way to keep them out. All her father had done was pass on a legacy of suicide to his
sons.
"Caledonia?"
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
She paused at the deep voice behind her and turned to see Lochlan drawing near.
"Are you all right?" he asked.
"Aye."
He cocked a blond brow. "You don't look all right."
She clenched her teeth and took a deep breath to calm the raging emotions inside her. "I am merely
aggravated at your brother, but I am sure it will pass." Given a century or two, she might even be able to
smile at the toad again.
He smiled knowingly. "He has a way of doing that to a person."
Callie studied the handsome, sculpted lines of Lochlan's face. He bore very little resemblance to Sin. The
only thing the two men shared was height and the fact that both were incredibly pleasing to look at.
Nay, she corrected herself, they shared another trait. As she looked up into those clear blue eyes, she
saw Lochlan was every bit as reserved and guarded. And his eyes were tinged by a soul-deep sadness.
"Tell me, was Sin always like this?"
"Like what? Moody, quiet?"
"Aye."
He nodded.
"Then it's hopeless, isn't it? There is no way to reach that man."
She saw the grimness of Lochlan's features as he considered her words. "Honestly, if there is a way, I
do not know it. But I hope you will continue to try and reach him."
She frowned at his words and the odd look of him. Strange emotions swept across his face in the span
of three heartbeats, and then his features returned to calm.
"You have guilt?" she asked, wondering at the source of it.
He sighed wearily and looked around them as if afraid someone might overhear. "More than you can
fathom. I lead my clan and yet I know Sin is firstborn. I have no right to my father's legacy. Everything I
have is his by right and by blood. Yet he refuses to take anything from me."
"Why did your father disown him?"
She amended her list to another thing the brothers shared. An angry tic started in Lochlan's jaw that
reminded her much of Sin's.
When he spoke, his words wrung her heart. "In order to be disowned, you must first be recognized as a
son. Sin never was. Ewan and Braden were too small to see what Kieran and I did. Our parents lavished
the world on us, while Sin was delegated to a corner to watch. I hated any holiday where gifts were
exchanged. We were given so much, while he received nothing at all. I remember one Christmas in
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]