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She's not well enough to exert herself like that."
"My chairmobile caught up to her and is giving her a ride back to her room.
Shall I have Rinperee visit her?"
"In a couple of hours. She needs solitude, I think. Poor child, she's so
desperate, and won't let me help."
"Perhaps Grisnilter? I've taken him off sedation now, and he could have
visitors."
"Perhaps," answered Jindigar, "when she's calmed down. But warn him about
her."
"Oh, I will." His simulacrum vanished.
During this, Frey, embarrassed, had crept back the way he'd come. "I, uh,
should be going."
Jindigar said, "We'll talk, Frey. Later."
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"It's not like that, Jindigar. I know you're not an Invert."
"I was," he contradicted calmly, "and could easily be again. We'll talk. If
you want to resign tutelage, then we'll dissolve without prejudice. I don't
think even Desdinda would hold it against you."
"I won't go until you dismiss me."
"We'll talk," insisted Jindigar. "Later."
He let Frey go, and Krinata let out a long held breath. Jindigar said, gazing
after the boy, "Go ahead. Ask."
She couldn't, so she complained rhetorically, "Why does Arlai let me walk into
these things?"
"Arlai," answered Jindigar, "is preoccupied. We're carrying almost a full load
now. Additionally, he's unaware of emo-tionally charged conversations unless
his name is mentioned, or ship's security is involved." His eyes came to hers
sym-pathetically. "Ask the real question, Krinata."
"All right. What are you? What does she think you are that he thinks you're
not, that you insist you are, and what does all that mean to me? If anything."
And what do you mean I have as much talent as Desdinda? Which one of us are
you insulting? But she wasn't going to say that aloud.
"Do you understand," he asked obliquely, "that only during Renewal do we
practice our religions? For the sake of anal-ogy, you could regard Aliom as my
religion, and myself as a professional promulgator of it a priest. But that is
true only during Renewal. Aliom provides the philosophy on which the Oliat
functions. Once, only once, I reversed that philosophy, inverted it. Hence, I
am known as an Invert. To many, it makes no difference, to others I'm a
purveyor of evil. Thus, there are Dushau who will regard you as they would any
Ephemeral, and there are those who'd consider you tainted by association with
me."
Before she could consider her words, she heard herself ask, "Is that why you
were exiled from Dushaun?"
While he looked stunned, she thought, Where did I ever get
that impression? But he answered mildly, "Not really. I thought you'd be more
concerned about whether you, yourself, care to associate with an Invert."
So he is in exile! But somehow she wasn't horrified. She ached with the
sadness of it. "To figure out what an Invert is, I'd first have to learn the
Aliom philosophy. Since we only have a few more days to Razum, I guess that's
going to have to wait awhile. But I am interested."
"You'll find Arlai's library is complete on the subject. If >ou discover you
do not wish to associate with me, say so."
"Why are you always trying to get rid of me? Is it that you don't wish to
associate with me?"
"No. Krinata." She couldn't doubt his sincerity. "I don't ever want you to
feel trapped. I dislike that feeling too much myself.''
"All right, then let's make a bargain. You stop trying to get me to quit, and
I'll promise to let you know if I want out. Deal?"
He regarded her oddly, then he grinned. "Deal."
She hardly saw Jindigar during the rest of her convalescence, and never had a
chance to apologize for the foolish stunt she'd pulled in space. She began to
wonder if he was avoiding her. It couldn't have been comfortable for him to
confess to being an Invert. He could have no idea how she would react, and
neither did she.
She did pull out volumes of Aliom philosophy, but it was too boring. From what
she did glean, she couldn't imagine how it could be "inverted." So she found
herself mulling over the things Jindigar had done. For one thing, he'd never
lied to her. He often withheld information, but only because he felt it
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