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of Adrien s waist to the other. Adrien made a low sound and
shifted beneath his touch, like even that was too much for him to
bear.
Cristian wanted to see more of that red flush, wanted to see
how bright it got down where the blows were actually landing.
And he wanted Adrien to have to feel it all, too, with no fabric to
get in the way. He hooked his fingers beneath the waist of his
underwear and worked it and his jeans down off Adrien s hips, all
the way down to his knees.
His skin was a bright, cherry red, and hot as a fire. Cristian held
his hand out above it, feeling the way it radiated off of Adrien s
skin without even having to touch him.
Adrien watched him sidelong, craning his head around to look
back at him. When he made a low sound and rocked back, pressing
into Cristian s palm, Cristian jerked his hand away and retrieved
the paddle from the blankets. Stop that, he snapped, and struck
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Adrien square across one ass cheek.
Adrien sucked in his breath and let it out on an unsteady laugh.
Whatever you say.
Cristian hit him again, irritated at being patronized. Even tied
up and helpless with his pants around his knees, the man was still
infuriating. Be quiet. He hit Adrien again before he could
respond. God. You ve always got to have the last word, don t
you? Bastard. Well, you re the one who goaded me into this. Now
you can just shut up and deal with it. Cristian hit him as he spoke,
so he never had a chance to interrupt. I bet no one s ever raised a
hand to you in your life, you spoiled ass.
Adrien made a choked sound. That s not true. He forced the
words out even though Cristian struck him again to try to silence
him. My father when I was little he spanked me once. I don t
remember why. I couldn t sit for a week.
Cristian hesitated, staring down at him. Once? His lip curled.
How tragic. My heart bleeds for you.
Adrien gave a broken laugh. It shouldn t. I m sure I deserved
it. I was a rotten child.
Was? Cristian muttered, mostly to himself, and Adrien didn t
say anything, so he figured he hadn t heard.
Cristian hit him again, since the conversation had lulled, and
was surprised when Adrien groaned, You re right. I m not exactly
a paragon nowadays, either.
Cristian s brow climbed. He could have named a dozen ways
that was true without even stopping to think about it. But he
wondered what exactly Adrien thought his faults were. Yeah?
Well, Adrien said slowly, I got Felix drunk and took
advantage of the state he was in, even though I knew it would only
do more damage to your relationship. That s pretty shitty.
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Yes. Cristian hit Adrien again. It is.
Adrien grunted at the impact and leaned his brow against his
hands where they were spread on the headboard. Look, clearly
you re a natural at this, he said quietly. You come by that
honestly, I suppose. And Felix likes it. Wants it, even. I don t
know why you won t just let yourself go like this with him. You re
doing yourself a disservice, as well as him.
Jesus. Just let it go. Cristian swung again, took a visceral
satisfaction in the smack of the paddle landing on Adrien s flesh.
It s none of your business how we fuck. If I don t want to beat
him
But clearly, you do, Adrien interrupted.
No. Cristian hit him again to shut him up. That s what you
like. That s what you want. I m not you!
Cristian punctuated each sentence with another blow, and when
he d finished he dropped his arm down to his side, breathing heavy
from the anger in him as much as the exertion of the beating.
Adrien twisted again, trying to look at him, his brows lowered.
Just because we both happen to like something doesn t mean
Stop it, Cristian growled. He hit him again, and again. God.
I don t know why I should have expected you to be any better than
anyone else. That s all anyone s ever done, my whole life, is
compare me to you. The only reason I exist is because my mother
wanted you.
Cristian
No! Stop it. I m not you. All I ve ever wanted is for people to
see that. All I ve ever wanted was something that s mine, that
you ve haven t already done first or better. Just one thing.
Adrien was quiet for a long moment. Well, he said at last,
I m sure your bread kicks mine s ass. Did Felix tell you about my
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first loaf? It came out with the consistency of a brick, and when I
tried to slice it
Bread? Cristian stared at him, despair welling up within him.
How much do you think I care about some damn bread?
Adrien went quiet, but only for a moment. Well, it s not just
that. Sleeping with Felix is hardly the first stupid, thoughtless thing
I ve ever done. He hung his head forward and made a low,
disparaging noise. I don t know where you got this idea that I m
perfect. I m a mess. I mean, you ve got Felix, and he s a great guy,
and he loves you. He s built a life here with you. I m lucky if I can
get a guy who wants to spend the night. And when they do, I kick
them out instead. I wouldn t know a real relationship if it fell into
my lap, and I sure as hell wouldn t know what to do with one.
Cristian drew the paddle back and hit Adrien again. Adrien
dropped his head forward and groaned, but he kept talking. I m a
selfish bastard, he murmured. I was spoiled growing up. Spoiled
rotten by anyone else s definition, I m sure, and time hasn t made
me any better about it.
I ve always said you were, Cristian grumbled, but there was
no satisfaction to be had in this confession. It would have been
easier if Adrien had struggled against admitting his failings. He
struck Adrien again, because it angered him that he was taking the
wind from his sails.
Adrien gave a harsh laugh and shook his head. You don t
know the half of it, I m sure. And Amber, God. All she does is run
around cleaning up my messes. I could make her life easier if I d
just behaved for once, but good intentions aren t worth shit, and I
always end up giving her something to tear her hair out over
anyway. It s a wonder she didn t dump me on my ass years ago.
Cristian scoffed. He struck him with the paddle again. Adrien
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gave a low cry. You make her money, I m sure. That s incentive
enough for some.
But Adrien just sighed and shook his head. I ve never done
anything to earn it. Even Wunderkind, which started all the hype
back when I was seven I only had one stupid line in that movie.
People forget that. Everything I ve gotten, everything I have now,
it s all just been handed to me. First because of my father s name,
and now because of my own. I haven t earned any of it.
Cristian knew it was true, had known it for as long as he d
known who Adrien Grant was. Cristian had watched him grow up,
pampered and beloved by the media as well as the public, while
Cristian had had only his mother, who was almost not worth
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